Life messed up!

Nobody knows how I feel, nor can I explain.
Nobody to love, nobody to blame.
All seems to be my mistake.
Nobody sees what I see, nobody feels what I feel, nobody left to care for me. It's kinda sad to know the truth coz now I know who's truly there for me.
Most of them put an act, a lot of them talk behind my back.
All I have to say is thanks for making me feel this way, there's nothing more I have to say.
Surrounded by many yet alone I was all the time, makes me feel a little weird today.
Every night I cry myself to sleep, at times I wish someone loved me, no hope no life, the endless pain...
The only unanswered question what did I do to deserve this and at times yell why only me? Why me? Why me?

Anchal Saboo
24th April 2015

life is a roller coaster ride!

I have been so high

I have been so low

Life today seems a roller coaster life

I have fallen so fast

To the deepest sea
So slow it is to push up again
Drowning drowning drowning
Deeper deeper deeper
Never thought i could get there
Been down so long
Hard to fight up again
To get back to the place where i belong
There’s so much doubt
At times feels like i never will
With so many hurdles to cross
Nothing seems to get on the right way
Day by day it’s getting difficult to face another day
I pretend to be happy with a wide smile always
Behind that smile hides the pain
Life seems a roller coaster ride
When will it ever stop?
Anchal Saboo
16th October 2013

Exactly what I feel at the moment

Why in these last days is there so much pain, so many burdens, so little understanding...

Why isn’t it just the way we thought it would be?

Why not the last academic works get its justice?

It is so time bound that we work only for the upcoming juries and presentations and  not for ourselves???

Guess that is all we have been doing all these years and they call us the architects in the making.....
Is it the system to be blamed or we??
Are we so incapable of time management??
I guess no one’s to be blamed its just one wrong decision in life which is going to cost a lot for the entire life!!
Anchal Saboo
18th January 2013.

wrong i was thought it to be a bliss!

When mind is submerged deep under an emotion so strong that it stops functioning only then that energy gets diverted towards things we seldom do...composition for one..crying your heart out comes by itself...
Love's gone; hope shattered; dreams puffed away; with countless scrutiny on relation and trust; I feel like fleeing away; with questions lying unanswered; emotions turned nightmares...
Trust pulled up from all relations with countless waves rising up and down..waiting to sweep away..
O Lord! What did I do trusted yet again?? Learnt nothing from the past, for oaths n promises had been taken, all went in vain!
Committed a crime all over again!
Loving OVER yield me this!
Wrong i was thought it to be a bliss....
Having a fleeting affair and consequential after effect seems to have one good impact after bouncing back the mental state, perspective, the vision widened thinking gets mature and now seems to get in hold of the hormones!!
O Lord! Give me the blessings so it does not betray...
Euphoria;delirium all gone feet on ground i feel like waiting for the one living with in every possible way!!

8th August 2013

Someone I used to be

Someone I used to be

The one known as the ever smiling face....

Laughing the heart out on anything and everything...

Even if I felt the scum of the earth I will never let anyone know!

All that mattered was a little dessert...
Small little aims.....and fulfilling each one!
Lived without regrets....Kicking around people!!
Never cared about what’s next...
Always thought people around were caring and good
But in the end this is a selfish world
No one cares...no one simply does...
As the years passed by....I guess everything has changed...
I am no more the happy go lucky gal I used to be
Today I fear and think too much...
What is it that has transformed me so much???
And today somewhere I miss the me in me!!
But with all hopes I guess
A day will come when it will just be the family that matters and nothing else absolutely nothing...
And from now on all I am waiting for this day to come!

Anchal Saboo
5th February 2013

PS after 2 hours this is what u realise:P

But then again i realised its all in my head:))))
I can be the way i was n i will be!!!!
Happy happy happy!!